Tough weekend. This was Hilary's first Mother's day with Finlay, but her first Mother's day without Lauren. People who are wondering how we are holding up, we're doing okay, at least on the outside. This week is harder than last week, and last week was harder than the prior week. Some people are surprised when I tell them it is harder now than when she was going through her chemo. When she was going through her chemo, at least we had hope. We could reach over and touch and kiss her. Now we have nothing and the thought that we'll never see her again keeps eating away at us inside. There are times where I wonder how we are going to be able to go on without her. Maybe if we felt she was suffering or in pain, it would have be easier, but she never gave the appearance that she was ever suffering.

Other stuff:

Finlay has started to hold her head funny. It will tilt to the side, she's also been tugging at her ear. We're hoping it is just an earache. But seeing her do that is freaking us out. It very reminiscent of the symptoms Lauren showed right before she was diagnosed. They thought Lauren had a sinus infection. Hilary is going to take her to the doctor today. Are we worried? Yes, very. Are we over-reacting? Probably. Are we paranoid? Extremely. You can't tell us not to worry about it, it's probably nothing. We've heard that before. Having kids is too stressful.

Short story:
So the other day Marissa wanted me to play house with her. I said, okay I'm mommy. She said, No, I want to be mommy. I said okay, you can be mommy and I'll be daddy. She said, okay…CLEAN UP!!!! I ignored her and turned up the TV.