Lauren was up at CHLA yesterday for a scheduled appointment to see Dr. Finlay and draw labs. Our nurse didn't like the way one of her lungs sounded, so after speaking with Anna and Dr. Finlay, they ordered another X-ray of Lauren lungs. It appears her diaphram is being pushed up towards her lungs due to all the poop. Constipation has always been an issue with Lauren since all of this started. Not only is it a possible side effect of most chemo, but all the steroids. Of course, it doesn't help that that the steroids increases her appetite... a lot!

Personality wise, Lauren is still not herself, she is pretty much a shell of her old self. Rarely talking or smiling, not a happy camper. And yesterday at the hospital she could barely keep her eyes open, which is not like her. During the few days with very little improvement over the past few months, a thought has crept into my head: Is she dying? Am I never going to hear her laugh again? Or hear her chatterbox voice telling me a 10-minute, one sentence story? But once again, Dr. Finlay brings us a ray of hope. He continues to believe her personality change is due to the steroids. He also wanted to reassure us that the chemo treatment, Procarbazine/CCNU protocol, is not something he pulled out of the air. That there is more study and maybe even better results than the industry standard of Temodar with radiation. So instead of staying awake all night worrying about Lauren, I'm going to put my trust in Dr. Finlay and continue to pray that he is right. What else can I do?

Lab results from yesterday indicated that Lauren platelets have drop significantly. That she will need a platelet transfusion on Friday. They think she will probably need a few platelets and blood transfusion over next four weeks, as her counts drop. We'll also have to start giving her GCSF shots at home soon. A lot of people have inquired about donating blood and platelets. I know one person who has an appointment to donate platelets on March 6th. Platelets are tough since it's a two-hour process to harvest them, it takes 3-days to process them and only has a shelf life of 5-days, however, if Lauren doesn't use them, you can be sure another child in need will be benefiting from them. So if you're in the CHLA area and wouldn't mind donating platelets and/or blood (Lauren's blood type is A+, blood type doesn't matter for platelets), we'd appreciate it. If you can, maybe you could let me know via email or Facebook and I try to keep a schedule so we can stagger everybody, so that there will always be platelets available for her, if that's okay? Here is the number to schedule an appointment at CHLA: 323-361-2441 or blooddonor2@chla.usc.edu. They will ask you for Lauren's birthday, which is December 12, 2003. Thanks everyone.

Other stuff:

Lauren's hair continues to fall out fast. You can see a lot more of her scalp. When we told her, she was nonchalant about it. But when we asked if she was sad she said, "yes." She really enjoyed getting her hair back and wearing bows and headbands. Heartbreaking.